An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
