I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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