If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
