Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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