3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
