I think I died a long time ago.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize