Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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