i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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