I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
