I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
zippers are such a cool invention
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
