You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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