Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
