The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
