Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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