I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
As shirtless as possible
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
