miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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