I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
