Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
