yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
