He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
