I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
no, he came in my armpit
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize