We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
