I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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