I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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