We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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