Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
