Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
