sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
