he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
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So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
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I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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