so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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