To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
