So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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