I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i drank out of a bidet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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