how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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