sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize