i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
