dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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