Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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