His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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