it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
