so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I sprained my soul last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
