Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
