We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
