Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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