the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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