Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
