If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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