And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
