So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
