accomplished twins. life is a go
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize