I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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