She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
