Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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