was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I want is dick and wine.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
