is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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