Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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