So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
