I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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