garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Randomize
