i don't like sucking hair
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
ttyl tear gas
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
