listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.