Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.