I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
