i jhust puked up my retainher.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.