what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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