i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
